This is my first diary entry. I’ll try to be very casual, very open, and very real. This is a daily diary, after all.
There’s a reason I’ve decided to present my diary digitally to the world. I have so much on my mind all the time. It’s literally everywhere. I can’t think straight at times. Sometimes I’m thinking about some deep philosophy, sometimes about what that random person was thinking when they saw me. Sometimes a genius plan is being concocted in my mind, and at other times I don’t understand how I’ll get up in the morning after sleeping so late at night. Random, intentional, silly, amazing, weird, stupid, perfect, and mind-blowing—it’s like a bombardment of thoughts in my mind. And to be honest, I like thinking about all these different things. And I think, maybe you would like to hear some of them—maybe even benefit from them.
This diary is going to be a journey: of me unscrambling and unravelling the thoughts in my mind, and of you finding some of yourself in me. And, by some stroke of luck, finding that some of the things I think about are the same ones you think about. Then maybe you can also unscramble some of your mixed-up thoughts and unravel some of your confusion. Because let’s admit it: there’s a lot of confusion in both of our lives, right?
But it’s not that I hate this confusion in my head. Sometimes—and I wholeheartedly believe this—confusion can be a blessing. It’s not always good to understand everything clearly. Because let’s face it: we can’t. The way to lead a good life is to be an avid and eternal learner. Once we start thinking we know everything, we start making mistakes. I’m sure you’ve thought at some point, “Oh, I was so wrong back then,” when you were younger than you are now. I have. Many times, I realize, “This thing is supposed to be done like this. What was I thinking back when I was young? And I even preached the wrong way of doing it.” You must have believed something was right all your life, only to recently realize how wrong you were. But that’s good, right? It’s never too late to realize how to do better or think better.
That’s how it is. No one is born with the right knowledge of all things. We have to navigate past lies and confusions to reach the truth. That is why I have this very strong belief in my life that pulls me through times of overconfidence, arrogance, complacency, and even underconfidence (more on that later). And that is:
"I am wise because I know that I know nothing."
Yes, I know. It’s a little different from the original quote. I’m not really sure what the original is, so I made it up a little. The important thing is that this quote feels so true. Sometimes, we think someone is a genius because they know everything. In fact, someone is a genius only if they realize how little they truly know. Ask a highly educated person. After a Master’s or a PhD, one realizes how little they knew in the beginning—and how even less they know now.
This quote defines the story of my life. I am always in awe of the sheer amount of things I don’t know. I’m never too sure about anything. Therefore, I am always confused. And I believe that this is a better way to live (most of the time—but that’s a story for another day). I think we should all be confused more often—you, me, all of us. Then we can help each other, right? I’m sure we’ll be able to get each other some clarity in our lives that way. And the good news is: after confusion, there is always peace of mind. We all want that in our lives, don’t we?
