I really want to believe that writing things down will help me out. Because just thinking about things is certainly not helping. It is like a whirlpool of ideas, conclusions, opinions, and confusion. And I never seem to reach any conclusion or gain any clarity. Writing my thoughts might help me understand my mind more clearly.
There are times when we are so conscious of our surroundings. We are looking everywhere, trying to find every eye that looks towards us, whether it is looking towards us or not. We think that everyone is watching us, thinking about us, judging us. Then there are times when we think that there is no one in this world who would waste their time thinking about us. “Why would anyone think about me? I am not that important. People have better work to do.” Or maybe we are just very casual about the way we interact with people and never stop to think once how we have affected others and how it will affect our perception in their mind. So, we just go about our life, absolutely oblivious of the fact that that one person—anyone really—has us on their mind. It could be anyone: some friend, siblings, parents maybe, that one girl or boy you talk to maybe every day but never go beyond, or a stranger you just talked to over the internet or at a gathering of friends—anyone.
We are oblivious to what is happening, and we are just going about our lives, but that person might be thinking about us, dreaming about us, happy for us, sad for us, crying for us, laughing merrily thinking about us, loving us in their own mind, or maybe hating us—I don’t know (but I am mainly talking about the good stuff. No hatred or jealousy or stuff right now). Just having us in their thoughts. They might cry for us, pray for us, long for us, wait for us. And we are just here, being ourselves, in our life, not knowing anything. Somewhere, someone, sometimes thinks we are important when even we don’t think like that about ourselves. But when sometime later we get to know that this all was happening to them when we weren’t aware, it is a weird feeling. We feel butterflies at times thinking they were thinking about us, sometimes sad thinking we didn’t know anything and were unable to reciprocate. But it’s not always our mistake. Sometimes we just miss the chance.
So what can we do then? I think the only precaution we can really take is to be kind to people. We should just be grateful and try to reciprocate whenever and wherever we can because:
Everyone says that love should be unconditional. I think that even if it is unconditional, it should nevertheless be met with gratitude and mercy and kindness. If love is reciprocated with gratitude, that love blossoms to even greater heights and becomes more beautiful than ever, just like flowers that blossom the more you love them, the more you take care of them.
I got to think about another interesting thing: the way we say no to other people. I know many people struggle to say no and some are scared that it might come off as rude. And obviously, saying no sometimes is very, very important. My brother shared a YouTube clip with me:
In it, the guy talks about the best way to say no or to turn someone down. So he says that usually, if we are, for example, given an invitation to some place and we can’t go, we start with kindness and say “I would love to come, but…”. So even though we are starting with gratitude and kindness, the but changes the whole dynamic. Whatever you say before, but will take away all its beauty or thought or feeling, and in the end, your sentence will have a negative connotation.
So he says that instead, we should be upfront and honest and start by saying that we can’t do that thing, and then after but, we should end with kindness. Something like, “I won’t be able to come, but I wish I could have. I’m sure it will be fun.”
I think this can really help people in saying no and also not be rude—something many people struggle with in their daily lives. I struggle with this as well at times, but I have grown to be more comfortable with saying no. I don’t know if this will work, but I think it is worth a shot.
