On and off it’s going on these days. Sometimes I wake up early at around 6 and at other times, later at around 12. When the clock ticks 11 or 12, the inner monologues get on and makes me want to just punish myself by staying in the bed. But that’s of no use obviously. Being stubborn and rebellious will not do me any good especially in this scenario.
The problem is that I have come to believe, rightly or wrongly, that I can achieve ultimate productivity, only if I start working when the sun Is barely up and everyone else is sleeping. Are morning routines really that important for mental health? Come to think of it, it is a really nice time, isn’t it? Alone at that time, when most of the world is sleeping, and it’s also not night time, its morning, so the birds are chirping, morning breeze blowing, freshness all around. It really is the perfect time. But it is not right thinking that this is the one and only option. Placing all my bets on one routine makes me more susceptible to failure.
Let’s think about this way; if waking up was not in my control, and I could wake up early or at a later time, it would be okay to say that waking up at a particular time is like a hand of cards I have been dealt by fate. This reminds me of this quote:
“It’s not about the cards you are dealt with but how you play the hand”
So it doesn’t matter when I wake up, the only thing that matters is whether I play it well and do the work nevertheless or get stubborn and just keep lamenting. In contrast, here is another similar but different quote:
“If you don’t like the hand fate’s dealt you with, fight for a new one.”
According to this, you are never stuck with one option. It means that it is in my hands whether I wake up early or later in the morning. So, this begs the age-old question of fate vs free will. Why can’t I wake up early? Is it fate that is stopping me or my free will sabotaging me?
Another thing. I said that both these quotes are in contrast to each other, but are they really?
While we are at it, let’s talk a little about the grand concept of “Perfectionism”. Is perfectionism bad? Or is it good and cool like we used to think? Being a perfectionist is what we all used to think we were when we were young, well many of us. It is that anti-hero kind of a thing. It is one thing really messing with us but still seems like a cool thing to have. It is usually the go to answer in interviews.
“So tell us about your weaknesses or bad qualities.”, asks the interviewer.
“I am a perfectionist”, people answer, thinking themselves so clever.
Because they think that even though it is a bad quality it makes them sound cool because they like to do things in the perfect way. So they have outsmarted the interviewer. But any wise person sitting in the seat of the interviewer would know the relation between productivity and perfectionism.
Being a perfectionist, if you truly are one, is one of the worst things that can happen to you. It is such a curse. It hampers so much of our productivity. It gives you a feeling that nothing you do is worth anything, that everything is mediocre and therefore not good enough. So what happens is, you never execute your ideas, because in your mind, whatever plan you have come up with, it is not perfect. You want to create perfect Ocean’s Eleven plan to reach a goal. Otherwise it is better off not attempted at all.
“Come on man, just burst into the vault and runaway with the money”, your heart tells you.
It tells you to take the risk. But your mind can never settle on any plan less than perfect because it has thought of all the consequences that you may have to face if you follow a slightly worse plan. Alright, robbing a casino with a not so good plan is not a very good idea, I agree, but I am sure most of us don’t want to do that. Sometimes taking the risk and jumping right in with absolutely any plan you have got is the best thing you can do. Because there is no such thing as the perfect plan.
There are plans, and then there is fate that aligns things according to your desire, somewhat, and you end up doing the thing you wanted to do, albeit with a number of mistakes. But then those mistakes make us better and make our next plan a little better and we improve. Next time when we attempt something, we make less mistakes, or different mistakes, and lo and behold, the journey to being perfect starts.
When people leave the chase of the perfect plan, embrace imperfection, and jump right in, great things happen. We all have heard of that famous story, “I came to this city (or country) with only $50 in my pocket” and they are the most successful people. So they took the risk with a simple plan. If I could get a chance, I would love to interview one of those people, who risked it all, came with nothing and achieved so much. And not just random interview, I would want them to tell me the minutest details of what they felt, what they did, how did they overcome the fear of failure and how they achieved all that they did.
Content creators have to just start making videos and blogs and content in general and you can see on their own channels and feeds how they improve with time. Stand-up comedians have to jump on the stage with a half-baked joke and just run it by the audience to see if it works. Sometimes doctors have to take the risk of going with one treatment plan when they might not have enough time or resources for all the different options or even if the operation or medication has some percentage of failure. When a soldier goes onto the battlefield, the trajectory of each bullet is controlled by fate. If fate is on their side, the bullets run by them and not through them. Each and every bullet that goes by, could have gone through, but when you believe that you can do, the world conspires in your favor.
How to stop fearing mistakes?
You have to just know that mistakes and therefore failure is just round the corner. It may come at any time but the fear of that is not going to stop you from doing what you want to. But having belief that failure may occur, accepting it, and still moving ahead, believing, wisely or foolishly, that you will succeed, is the most important thing.
Out of nowhere, this reminded me of that line that Thor said to Rocket in Avengers Infinity War:
“You know I am 1500 years old. I have killed twice as many enemies as that and every one of them would’ve rather killed me but none succeeded. I am only alive because fate wants me alive.”
That guy knew in each of his battles that he might die. But he pushed through, stubbornly believing that he won’t. That is why he succeeded. The fate conspired to keep him alive.
I have always been a perfectionist. And I say this now with no pride at all. Because it has slowed down my growth and made me take more time in achieving anything that I longed for. It is still a great hurdle that I have to overcome each time. This website, my social media, this new journey of this diary, all of these have come to be by overcoming that hurdle and believe me it has taken a lot of nerve to beat it. I still am struggling with it but I actively realize this habit of mine and continuously try to attain resilience through failure and consistency and not perfectionism.
This makes me remember another concept of not thinking much and doing more, the whole thinkers keep thinking and the doers do it rant. Well there is a lot of truth to it, but I think there is more to it than meets the eye. Some other day though.
Do you like the solitude of the mornings or the solitude of nights?
How much do you believe in Fate?
Are you a perfectionist or do you just get into it?
Do you believe in making perfect plans?
Are you afraid of making mistakes?
Have you seen Avengers: Infinity War? It is pretty good. What do you think?
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